Overcoming Temptations

 

The Waiting Series

#2 September

 

OVERCOMING TEMPTATIONS

  Do Christian ladies have sexual urges? Ah! Really? Ok, just so you know, YES, YES, YES. How bad can it get? Oh, very bad and messy!

Funny, but no, not funny.

By God’s grace this content isn’t coming from a super hero who is temptation free. Hahaha, (lol) even Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness.

Before we go deep into the matter, let’s see what the Word has to say about this;

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

- Hebrews 4:15&16 (NJKV)

Also, let’s see what 1 Corinthians 10:13 says;

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

-    1 Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)

 

 What comes to your mind when you hear temptations?

Most likely sexual temptations, yeah?

Lol.

It’s good anyway. Whilst there are various temptations, our focus is on sexual temptation. More specifically, the focus here is on sexual urges and how we can overcome!

Yipee! Lol.

“Sex is sweet ooo…,” that is what my friend’s dad told her. He however added that it was best saved for marriage. Of course, to an extent I’m sure anyone reading this right now must have heard that before. The truth is I already know this too, the problem however is there are down times mehn. Lol. I mean, it’s even fair on the female side of the coin, for the guys it is worse! Ok, lemme calm down.

The down times are those periods when sexual urges come rushing at us. Yes, we already know that God would have us save sex for marriage cos that’s the way He planned it. But the big question is how do I help myself!?

 

Quick Personal Gist

 Personally, leaving childhood and entering into my teenage years, the Lord helped me to make the decision to save sex for marriage (Note: there is a background story to this, maybe for another time.) It’s true that God works all things together for our good as His children. I say this because whilst the Lord helped me to make that decision, I must confess that a big part of me was comfortable with the decision because I just disliked boys or let’s say men at the time. Well, by God’s grace I eventually got delivered from my ill illusion about guys. Too many details, bottom line is sexual urges weren’t so much of a thing for me as a teenager because I was hurting from my childhood experience, and this in a way fueled my disgust for sex generally at the time. God didn’t judge me for that, rather I’d say even the disgust for sex as at then worked out for my own good. Few years back I was eventually delivered from the emotional illusion and then I began to see sex as something beautiful that the Lord would have me enjoy in marriage. So, it will be more definite to say I started noticing my own sexual urges after the healing experience. Of course, it’s been there all along, but clouded by hate. The truth is having sexual urges isn’t a sin. It’s a beautiful feeling God allows us to have in preparing us for the blissful experience of communing as man and wife. Lol. To imagine that God Himself created sex is… (fill in the gap yourself)

 It is generally believed that guys experience sexual urges more frequently than ladies. This is probably because a lady’s desire for sex is wired around her emotions and closely tied to her menstrual cycle. It’s good to also note that the rate at which ladies experience sexual urges differ. (I’m not a doctor, so I rest my case.)

 

  Back to the gist, I became more aware of my urges. I’d just notice that my body was doing me gish-gish, lol. That means there was a desire to be touched and a desire to be held by a male. Whenever I felt that way, I’d tell God how I felt and ask Him to help me. At times the scripture ‘For the weapons of my warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God…’ will pop up in my heart and I’d just go ahead to confess it. At other times, I’ll speak to myself, something about waiting for my husband, that when he comes I’d be alright sexually, blahblahblah. Lol. The ride over sexual urges was smooth enough until it became rough enough.

 This content is to encourage you as a young Christian lady or even brother that it is very normal and natural to have sexual urges, however, there is a way to handle it so as to maintain our stand for purity, and ultimately for God’s glory.

Temptations are real (Selah).

 

A Quick Analogy of Sex Outside God’s Boundary

 Sex outside of God’s boundary is like gulping hot water at boiling point excessively and fast, and yet feel like you’re drinking chilled water. Ah! Eventually, damage, destruction, and bleeding will be inevitable. The person’s taste buds, esophagus, and entire mouth may be damaged in the process.

 

How they come…

Temptations come in various ways. When a temptation comes, you’d need to identify it.

Identify it; sexual temptation could come as an appealing idea, a suggestion, a thought, an imagination, a question, strange voices…

 

Practical Steps to Overcoming Sexual Temptations - Tested by Christian Ladies Like You:

Praying Ahead of Time

 Jesus in Luke 22:39-40; 45-46 admonished his disciples to pray ahead of time that they may not fall into temptation. He said this because He knew what was before them. You may want to read it.

As much as possible, never ignore a prompting to pray. That might just be the Holy Spirit warning you ahead of time.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

Don’t allow your mind to wander while praying. Stay focused on the Word, for example, 2 Cor 10:4-5.

The more you consciously and intentionally yield to those promptings, the stronger the fire intensifies. Hence, like Lawrence Oyor once said, “as you add more and more fire, the vipers will run out.” (Paraphrased)

 

Don’t Entertain it!

 This would imply shifting your attention from whatever is intriguing the sexual urge by replacing the thought, suggestion, or imagination. You may need to plug in your ears and listen to a song that literally carries the presence of God or play an audio bible. Try to sing or speak along.

 

Speak the Word!

 You will have to intentionally meditate on scriptures relating to this and pray them over time. When you do this often, those scriptures will soon enough stay in your memory. So like Jesus, when the temptations come, you’d be able to overcome with the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God which you already stored in your arsenal.

(2 Cor 10:4-5, 1 Cor 10:13, Heb 4:15-16)

 

Flee!

 In other words, japa! Lol. That is a Yoruba word that means flee, not run o! Flee! Flee like brother Joseph. At first Joseph was like “…how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” Day after day, brother Joseph didn’t harken unto Potiphar’s wife. You see, the day she grabbed him, he didn’t say “How can I…,” rather he fled! He fled for dear life.

 Most times, all we need to do is leave the scene, whatever that means to you. For instance, if I am alone in my room and beginning to have a terrible sexual urge, perhaps the thought of how good sex would be with future bae creeps in, the best thing to do is to japa from my room, and go to a place where there is an active conversation entirely outside of sex. Do not allow yourself to think, “shebi it is sex with future spouse now. At least, sex in marriage is holy.” Please, refute that deceit from the devil. It is still lust, so far you aren’t married yet.

 

Drop that phone!

 Don’t tempt yourself. Don’t tempt yourself. Yeah, I had to repeat that. Dear Abba’s daughter, when you have a sexual urge, this isn’t the time to read more on sex because it could lead you to pornography! Don’t fall into the trap of – “Let me read ahead of the future, so that I won’t be naive when my hubby comes.” It is nothing but a lie. It is a snare to fall into pornography. Don’t give in!

 

Accountability

 You need someone that can hold you accountable in this area. Someone that can encourage you, pray with you, and intercede for you when you are weak. This might be a difficult one, especially if you are someone who doesn’t like people on her case. Hello ma, you don’t have to tell people, just pray about it and let the Holy spirit lead you to the right accountability partner.

Please, as much as possible avoid having a guy as your accountability partner to avoid stories that touch. In essence, let the Lord lead you.

 

Recommendations

 You may want to read Day 27 of the Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren- Overcoming Temptations. Also, I strongly recommend that you go to Damilola Mike Bamiloye’s YouTube channel to watch a True Talk episode titled- Do Christian brothers struggle with sexual urges?

Thank you for reading through.

A very special shout out to every Abba’s Daughter out there.

The waiting will be more than worth it.

You’re blessed!